Young Councils and recommendations to women on search of the husband on sites of acquaintances

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COUNCILS AND RECOMMENDATIONS TO WOMEN ON SEARCH OF THE HUSBAND ON SITES OF ACQUAINTANCES

As all the same to find on a site of acquaintances of that "the darling expensive, favourite and the only thing" with which it would be possible to construct happy home life and to live long and happily?

With what to begin?
To begin it is necessary from accurately to define for itself (and potential husbands) the one and only purpose (and unambiguously to specify it in the questionnaire). Marriage, family creation. And any another! Otherwise will be as in a known saying... About two hares (let alone большем their quantity).

Further, it is necessary to understand for itself some the simple facts.

First, the unshakable confidence of success is absolutely necessary. Without such confidence it is better to this project and not to start – leaves nothing. This confidence will help to overcome failures and disappointments. And both that, and others will be much. Probably, even much. These are those "thorns", through which you should pass to reach "star" - family happiness.

Secondly, it is necessary to understand accurately, that "without effort not to catch and a small fish from work". Freebies will not be. "The prince on a white game" to you will not arrive. It is necessary to look for it. Moreover, probably, and to "win". So be going to "plough". And every day. The family happiness is such valuable and rare prize, that it of that costs.

Thirdly, be reserved by patience. Even at persistent work realisation of this project - from the first serious step before wedding will occupy, at least, some months.

Fourthly, if you the believer, address with a pray to Supreme that It has helped you with your charitable business (as is known, marriage – one of seven great sacraments, on the importance equal to priesthood). If the believer – all the same pray. It is checked up – helps. And it is better to pray every day – in the morning and in the evening. That "office of heaven" inadvertently "has not dozed off" …

Fifthly, remember one more simple true (to me it was informed in due time by my friends-Americans, for what I for all life am grateful to them). All problems and obstacles to happy marriage - inside, instead of out of you. Change itself - and you change the life. Also remember, that the largest obstacle is most sinful of all seven mortal sins - arrogance. Learn to make a correct choice - between own arrogance and family happiness. Unfortunately (or fortunately), it "or-or" …

If the woman is not ready to struggle for the family happiness (first of all, with the sins and lacks) it it is not worthy and practically for certain it will not receive.

And, at last, read Dejla Carnegie Kak's immortal book to win friends and to influence people. It should become your reference book during all project on search of the of "second half"

So, you have decided to find to yourselves of the partner in life. At first it is necessary to define accurately for itself, you wish to find which man. However, it to make just as easy as shelling pears. Strong, clever, successful, well-founded, taken place professionally, reliable, nice, sexual, intelligent, careful, kind, with sense of humour, the romantic, fair, decent, interesting interlocutor …. On mine, has missed nothing. Ah yes, also free (that is not having wives - official or "civil"), the constant girlfriend.

This set is not pleasant - write the. The essence of the matter from it does not vary.

It is how much real?
Contrary to extended (including, and on this site) to error, it is quite possible. To me examples when both thirty - and forty - and even fifty years' women quite successfully solved this problem, leaning on common sense (the strongest and reliable support in a human life) are known, and also following several simple enough (but effective) to recommendations which I and wish to bring to your attention.

At once there is a natural question: «And such individuals in general exist?». Strangely enough, yes. Itself a sign with some. An another matter, that their these merits, as a rule, are covered more or less deep layer of "dust" and to you, expensive women, it is necessary to work, that this "dust" to clean. However, it of that costs.

The second question: «And why them till now not захомутали?». In due time, certainly, «захомутали» (it is possible, time and again), it only has ended with parting (as a rule, so painful, that such men extremely with watchfulness concern idea of new marriage). The blessing as you understand, by female attention such "characters" well are not deprived completely not. So you should solve one for another two problems – to convince him that home life is is not simply well, and it is very good, and with you.

«And whether there are they on this site?». Is. For this site solves their very many problems. First, it is simple dialogue – on-line, and then, probably, and telephone. Secondly … as it there in the questionnaire is called? «Sex without obligations on one-two time». So, in my opinion. What to do, all people are guilty … the Human nature, whether know … Besides, it is necessary to remove stress somehow. Not vodka (let alone drugs). And «paid sex» …. For the man respecting to go to the prostitute is to undersign that it is not capable to tempt the woman who has liked him. Yes same simply personal insult!

So, believe, men interesting you on this site are. And not one (I think, that at all one hundred, and even one thousand. All question in how to it to reach...

So, the purposes are defined, problems are put. For work, companions! What to do and from what to begin (eternal Russian questions) … to Begin, naturally, it is necessary from the questionnaire. More precisely, from its three components which "General" are, "Self-portrait" and …. Yes, "Diary".

At first some the general remarks (so to say, «short introduction in technology of personal advancement»). For achievement of the aims laid down by you (i.e., family happiness) it is necessary to learn to look at itself (and, hence, on your photos, the questionnaire, a diary etc.) eyes of the man interesting you. It is difficult, but is possible. Also it is absolutely necessary, if you wish to find "significant other" …

Your picture album
Let's begin with your photo (for here the woman commits the first errors which can appear – and appear - fatal). Lovely women, well why you so it is frivolous to it concern? I have reconsidered not one hundred questionnaires and should notice, that more or five are less comprehensible … percent. And that from force.

I urge you to concern it extremely seriously. Find a good photographer's studio, the good photographer (it is natural, the man, and «obvious gays» for the clear reasons should be avoided – too in a female way they look at the world). Waste time also money (believe, the result of that costs) and make to itself such picture album … that spirit grasped.

Thus remember, that the person can «hold in a head» simultaneously no more than nine subjects (it is one of base laws of psychology – so-called «the law seven plus-minus two»). Therefore five-seven photos, no more. But qualitative (it is better, of course, amazing). And it should be photo which like men, instead of to you and especially not to your girlfriends. If there is a possibility, consult to familiar men (by the way, it in general is very useful – for learning the point of view of the man at any possibility).

And упаси the God to include you in a picture album so-called "erotic photo" (even if it is absolutely innocent photos in bathing suits). I do not know, how women, and men instantly "classify" the women met by them. To you, naturally, it is necessary to get at once to a category «potential wives». And if you on ignorance include in the picture album "erotic photo" instantly will get to absolutely other category – «accessible women». And hardly therefrom will get out – that is completely not necessary for you.

Thus in a reality you can be unapproachable as a rock and are pious as sacred Тереза Avilsky is will not have any more any value. For in our world, alas, the perception of a reality is a unique reality – one more base law of psychology which is necessary for remembering constantly. Therefore any "erotic photos", whatever ideal were your external data.

Your questionnaire: "General", "Self-portrait" and "Diary"
Let's pass from images to texts. That is, from a photo to sections "General", "Self-portrait" and "Diary" with which, certainly, it is necessary to fill. And it is optimum (differently, not it is necessary to answer all questions).

At filling of the questionnaire it is necessary to hold constantly in a head the same a basic principle, as at picture album creation. Differently, to remember that your purpose – not «to express itself» and so to be allocated from "lump", to attract attention of that man which is necessary to you.

It is clear that to lie does not follow. If you will catch on lies though time … about happy relations (yes, perhaps, and in general) with the worthy man you can forget about relations. At once. But, as is known, «there is one thousand ways to tell the truth, and only one of them is true». It also should be found. It is difficult, it demands time, efforts, creativity, at last. But, believe, the result costs that.

Yes, also remember, that the humour is best "greasing" in human relations. Including, naturally, and in the romantic.

Before to create the new questionnaire, I urgently recommend to learn more about features of man's psychology in general and men interesting you in particular. Esteem corresponding articles (on their Internet suffices), books. Talk to psychologists of a corresponding profile. And also with familiar men. In general as our friends-Americans speak, «make necessary homework». Thus, naturally, qualitatively. After all for itself try …

Do not hurry up at once to publish the new questionnaire on a site. Fill it in "offline" is better. Then show to familiar men. If it is necessary, also to psychologists. In general, receive necessary "feedback". It will be much better, if your "mistakes" and defects are found out in an offline, than already after questionnaire placing on a site.

Special attention, naturally, it is necessary to give to your diary. Carefully think over its themes and the maintenance. Make its as much as possible interesting to the «the target market» (i.e., for men interesting you). Get used to update a diary a minimum 2-3 times a day (then in the list of diaries it will rise on the first positions, that, will naturally, sharply increase quantity of readers).

Naturally, it is necessary to allocate enough means that a minimum of 2-3 times in day to lift the questionnaire "upward". It will manage to you in 3-4 dollars daily or somewhere in 100 dollars a month. Quite feasible sum for the woman belonging to "middle class". Especially, if to consider, that for the woman a happy family – as a rule, the major purpose in a life.

Now about concrete questions in the questionnaire. Necessarily specify, that you not married. Or if married, only formally (live separately). If on a corresponding question there is no answer … in general, it guards the man.

And here other question is better for ignoring, on the contrary. It is a question about «the relation to persons of nonconventional orientation». To "blue" and to lesbians, easier speaking. It is known, that women concern gays much more tolerantly men (especially in Russia). A phrase «from gays fine friends for women» quite turn out corresponds to the validity. But the man it, as they say, «on a drum». On the contrary, the natural reflex of that man which is interesting to you, at the mention of "gay" most likely, will be … well, we will tell so, not so that "tolerant". This theme in the questionnaire is better be not to lifting at all. As well as any themes with "sexual" implied sense (differently it is easy to get «not to that category»).

Now about «a material component of relations» (is more exact, about your relation to it). Упаси you the God even to hint that you search for "the financially secure man». It is clear and so (men nevertheless, not absolutely idiots), but more all the provided man is afraid of that the woman will love not it, and its money, the status, living conditions, the car, possibilities … From such women such men run as from fire. And if enter relations, in very short then «change for new model». More youngly. Also concern such women as to … in general, clearly. Therefore this theme is better be not to lifting too.

If you wish to achieve the object, your questionnaire should create image of the successful, financially independent and self-sufficient woman. On a site utro there is article «about mentality of the British women». At us, of course, not «foggy Albion», but something from this mentality will adopt completely not harmfully.

Naturally, it is necessary to avoid and other extreme measure – "gigolos" everyone there, «жиголо» … in general, захребетников. Therefore from your questionnaire it should be clear, that you concern these characters … as they of that and deserve. That it and in a head has not come even to try with you to get acquainted …

Material independence and self-sufficiency – a thing in general very useful. As allows to eliminate one more very serious problem which was very well and capaciously formulated by the British Catholic historian lord Ekton: «the Power corrupts; the absolute power corrupts absolutely». And both the man, and the woman. Therefore «the absolute material power» («in any party») is necessary for avoiding categorically.

Yes, and still. Your private world, instead of yours «anthopometrical data» first of all is interesting to the worthy man. Therefore it is not necessary to specify neither your growth, nor weight, neither colour of eyes, nor a hair colour – for it has no the slightest value. Let alone more «intimate details».

One more добый council to women who wish to find to itself on this site "significant other" and to find family happiness. Never and under no circumstances do not use obscene lexicon (as, however, and frank пошлятины). Neither in the questionnaire, nor in a diary, neither in telephone conversation, nor at personal meeting. Watch the speech, differently instantly will pass from a category "potential wives" absolutely in other category...

Search, viewing and the analysis of man's questionnaires
So, you have created and have loaded on a site the picture album with charming and amazing photos, and also optimum filled, effective and attractive questionnaire. But it is not enough of it. Probability of that «the fine prince» you will find yours, of course, is distinct from zero, but nevertheless it would be stupid to rely only on it. Active actions on search of the partner in life by sample, viewing and the analysis of corresponding man's questionnaires are necessary.

And here already it is necessary to work as follows. This work, alas, long and tiresome, but, alas, the inevitable., Unfortunately, still nobody cancelled «the law of the big numbers». Differently, to find that "pearl", it is necessary to dig over big enough «a heap of dust». As one "pearl", and a minimum three (it is better - five) is necessary to you not. That it was possible to choose from them already "that" man at personal meetings.

At first, certainly, it is necessary to define «age criterion». Thus it is not necessary to be afraid to get acquainted with younger men. Always remember Benjamin Dizraeli's example (one of three most outstanding prime ministers of the Great Britain, along with William Pitom Jr. and Winston Churchill). His wife already for fourteen years was more senior it, that it at all did not oppress. On the contrary, it to it even never changed (throwing). Why? Yes because it was for it irreplaceable for was able to create that house cosiness which was extremely necessary for it. So be not upset, if your elect appears more youngly you.

After that, alas, it is necessary to devote a lot of time to viewing of man's questionnaires. First, attentively them read (My God as few women follow this simple rule!). In summary show full disrespect for the визави. Frankly speaking, not the best beginning for relations. And to read it is necessary, naturally, all sections – and "General", both "Self-portrait", and "Diary" (well, at least, pair-three pages, if a diary volume enough).

Thus at a certain stage of development of relations to you, naturally, it is necessary to read all diary of the man. However, it is possible it will be consoled in that if business reaches before, this reading will be for you both interesting, and useful.

Try to understand private world of the man. Than lives, than he breathes … how much is compatible to you. Thus emotions should be less, and – it is more than common sense and mind. Also do not pay special attention to a photo – usually they give only very remote representation about the person. If there are references to favourite verses – find them in the Internet (it easily) and read. If on a song – listen (them too easily to download from the Internet). If on books or films – find and read at least summaries (they too are on the Internet).

Try to estimate the questionnaire from the point of view of truthfulness (if as it is necessary to get accustomed, in most cases the lie will come up at once outside). On the other hand, do not wave away from statements of the man, whatever improbable they to you seemed. If the person speaks, for example, that it is very religious, it is better to accept at once it as a reality. Then (in correspondence or at a phone conversation) at you it will check up possibility.

Also remember, that notorious «the female intuition» quite often is mistaken. Therefore always check its logic and common sense.

Correspondence on a site
After you have selected for yourselves ten-other attractive questionnaires, it is necessary to take the first step. That is, to write the message to the man who has liked you. And such that at once it would want to it to communicate with you. Thus more than with any other woman (it is clear, that the choice at it always is – sometimes considerable).

And to all who considers, that the man should "achieve" the woman, very much I recommend to carry out small research on purpose to define the relation of quantity of worthy women (i.e., what interest men) to quantity of worthy men (what interest women). Entertaining the parity will turn out... And instructive. Very quickly there will come "an enlightenment in mind" …

Men, are certainly vain; nevertheless, it is not obligatory at once to start to sing to it dithyrambs (though in reasonable limits it and will not damage). If you liked its questionnaire, probably, is for what. Work, religion, a hobby or interests is much better to show the interest that interests it, whether it be. And to fasten conversation on a corresponding theme. In general, follow Dejla Carnegie's corresponding immortal recommendations.

Пери it very important constantly to hold in a head your purposes – both final, and intermediate. And not to allow relations «to get off from a correct way». For this purpose first of all it is necessary to define accurately the intermediate purposes – and steadily them to achieve.

These purposes consist in that (1) to define, whether has sense the further dialogue and if yes (2) to cause in the man romantic interest to (first of all, to the Person); (3) to pass from online dialogue to dialogue by phone and (4) to pass from dialogue by phone to personal meeting.

Though achievement of these purposes demands more art, than the sciences, nevertheless it is possible to make some recommendations. For the decision of the first problem it is necessary to think up 2-3 questions or offers ("filter" or "test") which will allow «to separate at once grains from плевел». Certainly, these "filters" should correspond to common sense and an objective reality.

If the man successfully passes these "tests", try to give as soon as possible to dialogue (let even on especially professional themes) romantic colouring. It is much easier, than it seems … if to remember what exactly and «office novels» (rather extended in a modern life) begin.

Also remember (alas, about it too often forget): that the woman can make the worst for the man is to bury him under a heap of own problems and complexes... In it the major problem of all female "misfortunes in private life" also consists.

Secondly, make conversation so substantial that he "has as soon as possible outgrown" frameworks of "Internet chat" and has demanded already telephone conversation. And here I would recommend to you not to give the phone number (let even cellular) the man and to receive its number (which men usually give where охотнее women) and to call most.

Such active approach has variety of advantages. First, it is much more safe. If suddenly conversation «goes not there», you remain incognito (for this purpose to block number definition enough). By the way, as present "mobile phones" there was no place more tiny (moreover and are on sale under quite comprehensible prices), it is possible and to "be ruined" on separate phone – specially for «romantic dialogue».

Secondly, you will supervise a situation (the man after all can and not call – and for absolutely objective reason). And, thirdly, you will earn some more «points to own advantage». For, contrary to a popular belief, men like active, vigorous women, than passive «клуши» (with the second simply awfully it is boring) much more.

If the maintenance of telephone conversation suits you, it is necessary to do exactly same – to make so that conversation has "naturally outgrown« telephone frameworks »and has demanded personal meeting."Aerobatics", it is final is competent to"bring"the man to that he has invited you – in restaurant, the cafe, on walk … But if it is not possible (such happens) be not afraid and to show the initiative. Men in overwhelming majority of cases only welcome, but in any way do not condemn.

Yes, some more remarks. During conversation try to be interested sincerely in the man – its values, principles, plans, interests. Do not forget about reasonable shares of flattery (men are not less vain, than women). Speak Less, listen (it will allow you to supervise better a situation) more. And never argue with the man. Never. Advantage of it a zero, and harm – weight.

Because dispute is a conflict; and for the successful, taken place, provided man who were engaged in by the business, business, career (namely such husbands are necessary to you, expensive women), conflicts are the latest, that it is necessary for it.

Learn to defend the point of view and to achieve the, not resorting to dispute (believe, it is completely not difficult). Dispute, probably, you also will win (though and at all the fact; it looking at whom will run - it is possible and to lose; and with such crash that will look ridiculously, fondly and silly). And here the man precisely will lose – and it will get to that which will have enough mind, a step and ability not to be got involved in dispute with the man.

And it is correct, for the woman argues with the man only that «to amuse the arrogance». And arrogance knowingly consider as heaviest of all mortal sins.
CONTINUATION

Oleg Cheremnykh

13.03.08