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The author: Patrick Pavlovsky

 

TWO LIVES

 

The car has stopped near small restaurant.
The barman has learnt at once the person leaving of it. It was the man in expensive, stylishly sewed suit. It slow step has entered into a premise. Music and a tobacco smoke have surrounded the man from all from the parties. But, today, the respectable person searched silence and understanding. It has gone to a bar rack and having sat down far away from other visitors, has made the first order.
- Sergey, to you as usually? - Creating a cocktail from tomato juice and vodka, the barman has asked.
- Yes, all as usually.
- Today, you any sad? - The barman interrogatively continued.
- I work much, I communicate with people … Not always pleasant … And, still the new client much. - having sighed and having made pair of drinks, he has added, - About which business, it is necessary to think too much.
Got tired and little bit angry person was the lawyer. Its ideal appearance accurately reflected private world. Since the childhood Sergey dreamt to be correct, business and independent. Straight lines and not one curve. But this evening, it has changed to the usual image. The barman, already got used to listen to another's histories, has once again decided to play a role of the attentive listener.
- At you, something happens?
- Is not present … Is not present … Simply, sometimes, to the person it becomes sad also to it the sad condition … to Regret is necessary to go through and to someone to tell about the experiences.
- I weigh in attention. Visitors, as you can see a little so I can attentively listen to you.
The barman has led round a hand space of a bar rack, confirming to the words. A tired sight Sergey has tracked it. He also has not noticed, how behind several glasses of wine time has flown by.
This evening, to it not where was to hasten, the young man, always and everywhere the unique passion and the companion - work waited only.
- This afternoon, when I went along the street, among huge crowd of people, I have suddenly understood, that is lonely. - he has drunk from the a glass and once again has accurately deduced three words. - I absolutely alone. You understand?
- Among people a lot of lonely and each of us though time in a life, sets to itself this question.
- Yes … Yes... I know, but, in the loneliness I am guilty.
For the first time in a life, Sergey, did not protect, and accused, accused itself. Infallible ideals of an arrogant youth have failed, and the terrible validity of the mature person has outside got out.
- People should not live in empty houses. Any world created by them, should be filled by favourite voices, laughter and the bare meaning of the life.
The barman has knowingly smiled. He did not wish to penetrate into another's problems, but also to offend the person who liked, the same would not be desirable.
- You have got tired, rest is necessary to you, поезжайте somewhere to have a rest and as follows, relax.
The standard mere verbiage has unexpectedly worked. Sowing in the car, Sergey has suddenly felt, where it needs to go. Small, resort small town where there has passed the childhood, there, among memoirs expensive to heart, he will understand, that now it is necessary for it from own life. In some days, the strict suits, accurately laid hair and a leather portfolio, for a while, remained in last life. Bare feet, it went on sea coast, walked on small resort small town where once the childhood gave it thousand happy instants and there, among a "velvet" season heat, the velvet soul of the tired person on the sly began to perceive an elementary, terrestrial pacification. So there has passed the whole week. Nights perished, new days were born. This measured, than not burdened life started to like the man. It was absorbed in soul as a vintage wine and with each new drop, purple-red shades excited its owner. So there has passed the whole week, while. . All has not changed, warm evening and the red sky have beckoned it behind itself. It has appeared at coast, in private with the born decline. The thoughtful man silently observed of violence of paints that have played the present representation, throwing stones in salty water, he dreamt.
- I will not prevent you? - The voice was usual, such pleasant female voice at thousand girls, but such sight any more was not at anybody. Its sight has turned to a gold ray of light. It has departed to it on a meeting and has touched his face, has got deeply into soul, having filled with itself all internal space. The female sight was full of heat by which the man has been deprived, sitting in this instant on seacoast.
- I will not prevent you? - Smiling, the girl has repeated the question.
- No.
- My name is the Sleepyhead. - it has sat down nearby near Sergey and has continued to speak with it as though knew its all life. - I see you on this place some days successively. It too very much is pleasant to me. Here a beautiful decline. - the sleepyhead has become silent, as though after words "the beautiful decline" was necessary for keeping silent, comprehending, that such the present beauty. - I quite often come here with mother, but today, I wanted absolutely new companion and then, I have gone here.
- I approach for this role? - He has asked with astonishment, having lifted eyes.
- Certainly approach, - she has smiled, - you the ideal partner to sit on this remarkable beach and to throw stones in the sea.
- Stones?
- Yes, stones, and you that have thought!? - The girl has laughed also Sergey, already adult and self-sufficient man, suddenly felt the boy, as once, during those far and forgotten times of the left youth.
- I will not dissemble, I have thought absolutely of other … About evening which we will spend together, - it is guilty have smiled, - In one bed …
The sleepyhead has laughed. But this time its laughter has not confused Sergey, and on the contrary, on a shower became so easily.
Their dialogue looked, as harmless flirtation, as flight of two butterflies in the world where the instant belonged only to both of them.
- No, there is no … Today, in my plans only a throwing of stones from coast.
One more figure has in the distance seemed, rolling over with a foot on a foot, the full woman went slowly, it was visible, that it is not easy to it to go on stony coast, but the woman not simply walked, it went towards.
- And so you where, the Sleepyhead!? - It is a little choking, she has said. - I already tired to search for you.
- She is my mother and … it is time to me, - it is not important about what the girl spoke it, its sight, a gentle sight was the most important thing. - hey, me the thoughtful romanticist is time. - she has repeated again.
- Yes, I understand.
davnym - For a long time, when the little boy lived in cosy resort small town, in the neighbourhood with it there lived the girl. Her called the Sleepyhead. The boy and the girl were unseparable. Neighbour's boys teased their groom and the bride, but they did not take offence, as really thought, that always will be together. For all life. Sergey has remembered a sight of the neighbour's little girl, it was as sweet карамель, as the first snow or as the first spring streamlet which always you wait. The sight of the naughty little girl warmed the boy when it was littered with the stepfather and escaped from the house when fought, lost and won, when the human understanding easier was necessary. The girl by name of the Sleepyhead gave what not in a condition there was to give any adult person. But then, parents of the boy have divorced, and it has left together with mother in other city and more never saw the little girl that filled its children's world with inexplicable sense. And here now, in so much years, in the same small town, Sergey meets the girl with the same sight, with the same name. It fills again with herself all its space and the only thing, that he can tell to it. - yes, I understand.
Two women, mother and the daughter, slowly left from the confused man who still for a long time looked it following.
All night long Sergey could not fall asleep. Today night did not die, it did not give rest, as well as the girl with internal heat. The good, harmonious condition was to be lost no any more. The sleepyhead has revived feelings which excited imagination, gave excitement, a condition of the first and most sincere love.
When has come a notch, he has decided to find the girl, the hurricane, flown by on his life. If to trust wise books in this world there are no accidents. The gentle sight by name of the Sleepyhead has rushed into a lonely life not simply so.
- It has appeared here to rescue me. - when to the young lawyer, similar words were spoken by clients he would like to laugh, but now, he understood, what these people repeated.
And here now, he waited for it on a beach, throwing stones in the sea. He searched for it in city crowd, representing a long-awaited image, in each young girl who was coming across on its way. Unexpectedly having appeared and having disappeared, it has brought in his life, that fresh stream, a storm of which he so long dreamt.
- Gentle sight, gentle sight! - repeating beautiful words, Sergey pined with melancholy, realising, that misses on the girl who absolutely yet does not know.
It has faced it in three days. The sleepyhead flitted among the friends. All noisy company went on a meeting to loud music and neon fires. The night club disco invited all interested persons. The sleepyhead was fine, as well as that evening the smile did not descend from her face. Music has absorbed its body and submitting to rhythms, it gave natural and beautiful dance to the world. It seemed, during this instant, there is only a music and the passion which has absorbed the girl entirely. She at all did not suspect, did not feel, that pair of greedy eyes devour it without the rest. Sergey could not take away from it the sight, he was afraid, that again can lose the found jewelry that searched for all life. Hardly having overcome fear it has approached to the Sleepyhead and for the first time has touched it. Her back bend, has begun to smell hair, forced to fight even more strongly heart.
- I searched for you! - with aspiration and simplification he has said the words.
- And I waited for you! - with aspiration and simplification she has said the words.
- I was frightened, that it is more when you I will not see.
- I knew … I was confident, that you will find me.
The appeared saxophone has begun to whirl them in slow dance. They were one among huge crowd and there, in the deserted world, in small resort small town where nights die and the new days are born, the lost man and the gentle woman have merged together.
The remained days and nights of holiday they have spent together.
If to believe in that each person has a destiny to which it should follow Sergey at last has found that it is unique the necessary way reflecting its dozing essence.
The perishing tree in desert, has unexpectedly received one more chance, chance to survive. As if a summer rain, a flickering moonlight, the Sleepyhead has rushed into the world of straight lines, and there, having confused, having deformed space, it has generated the Universe for a two where wavy and curve ways, creating the unique drawings, two persons, went each other on a meeting. Anew reviving, Sergey again learnt every instant the life, having believed that the world the logic and not money, and banal corrects not, lived in millions people is true about love.
- Let's go together with me. - he has been excited, as when. All time, thinking only about one, finding it is possible and to lose, and it would not be desirable to lose already any more.
- You, the truth, want, that I have left together with you!? - The sleepyhead did not hide the emotions, all delight from told by the beloved, was reflected in her face. She also could not imagine, that pair of the innocent words, told to the stranger on a beach, could change all her life.
- Yes, yes I want, that you always would be with me.
- I will be … I always I will be with you.
Last night in small resort small town of the childhood, was the best. The unity of bodies reflected a unification of souls and desires. It seemed to the vulnerable man and the gentle woman, that so it will be eternal. But, the "velvet" season as the phantom, was ready to disappear, going to take away with itself all warmly summer.
- Our train leaves in the evening, in nine twenty, I will wait for you at station.
- I will come, I will necessarily come.
Time has come to leave the most wonderful place on the earth, a small resort where the childhood has disappeared and has appeared love. Last time Sergey has gone on the sea. He did not say goodbye to it, perfectly understanding, that will necessarily return to the world where was so is happy. Having thrown some stones in water, the man, with uncombed hair from a wind and bare feet has gone to collect things.
Arrows привокзальных yet have not stepped hours over a mark of eight hours, Sergey sat in a waiting room, specially having come before. Now, for an hour before departure. It was overcome by fear.
- And suddenly it will not come? What I then will do? - As the lawyer, he perfectly understood, that in any risky situation, fear and doubts it is natural. Sometimes, these feelings even are necessary what to make solving step. But now, when arrows of hours have stepped over borders permitted, all put arguments were powerless. Nine hours, before train departure remained few minutes, but the Sleepyhead and has not come. The pain, bitterness have filled exulting heart is no time, Sergey could not understand, why she has deceived him. He did not try to search for the reasons, knowing, that else can do much harm to itself more. He did not know its address, did not know where to search, did not know, that could occur to it and only the words told by the Sleepyhead last time, calmed about the latest minute a little.
- I will come … I will necessarily come. - whispered it all thawing, velvet world.
The night train took away the respectable person away, far away from small resort small town where already in the past there was the happiest instant. And only a loop of memoirs, not wishing to lag behind, the gentle sight and a unique question flied behind it: - Why it has not come?
When the train approached on a native city the young man has again turned to the serious mister. It has accurately combed the hair, has dressed expensive boots and leaving the car, at once has caught a taxi which has taken away it to problems and to affairs of a real life from which he has already weaned. The reality did not spare it, it absorbed a life and slowly selected a youth. Having concluded the bargain in due course, the reality often won. Sergey could not give the dream, stopping on instants. He looked to itself(himself) in soul, trying to revive the lost happiness.
And here …
The tired man, in expensive, stylishly sewed suit went on a night city. This evening, it wanted to it to relax, long working week remained behind, and business of the next client has been finished. The car has stopped near small restaurant, and the barman has learnt at once the person who has entered in a fashionable place. Music and a tobacco smoke have surrounded Sergey from all from the parties. But today, the respectable person searched silence and understanding. It has gone to a bar rack and having sat down far away from other visitors, has made the first order.
- Sergey, to you as usually?
- Yes, the glass of white wine and is a little attention from the barman.
- At you a tired sight. - pouring wine, not reflecting, the barman dropped habitual words.
- I could refer … But … - And having drunk, almost a volley a glass of a sparkling liquid, Sergey has continued. - you remember, one year ago, you have advised to me to go and relax somewhere, in a place where to me it was always good.
- Do not pay to my chatter of the attention, similar words I speak to all visitors but if itself in them I do not trust.
- Is not present … Is not present. You have appeared the rights, there, where I have gone, to me there were tremendous things.
- The resort novel!?
- No, love … the Present love.
Similar themes are seldom discussed successfully, the love and good luck not always turn nearby. People all life aspire to perfection, often not understanding, that perfection it and a pain. The barman any more did not set questions, it silently has poured one more glass of wine, has smiled and switched to other visitors.
There has passed exactly year since Sergey has left small town of the childhood. Exactly year which is equivalent the whole life. For this time, he has had time to move to new apartment, to win the best litigation and to go through two insignificant novels. Year is a whole life, but it was not possible to compare to a week which it has spent together with the Sleepyhead. For this time the feeling to the girl with a gentle sight has not grown cold, intuitively he searched for it every day in crowd, perfectly understanding, that there it will not appear. Sergey compared its smile to smiles of the darlings and those, always lost. He recollected its touches each time when it became intolerable is melancholy.
- It has appeared what to rescue me, and after all two rescue do not happen.
Sergey still did not interest, why it then has not come on station, for it, the Sleepyhead remained that happy instant, to go through which each person dreams. And here now, it is equal in a year, on the next limit of the forces, he has decided to leave again in small resort small town. It is unimportant, that old wounds can remind again of themselves, the main thing, it will get to that world where was excessively happy and quiet.
The life which has been turned out for year, for a while, again has thawn in the past. Having lodged in hotel, not unpacking things, Sergey has gone at coast. And there, there was an action to a pain the familiar. The decline has fallen upon the sea, and the sun slowly rolled in its waters. The coast has been absorbed by emptiness, and only in the distance a lonely female figure, destroyed picturesque unity. The woman looked afar and only occasionally, throwing stones in water, it forced to disappear natural silence.
- I will not prevent you? - Has asked a question the uneasy man.
- No, you will not prevent. - not expecting a similar meeting, the smiling woman has answered.
For the last year the Sleepyhead has not changed nearly, it all as was fresh, attractive also the most important thing, Sergey has again felt on itself a gentle sight. It has again got into a female soul. It has forced to fight strongly heart and has released feeling which so long pined in oppression.
- The partner, just, was necessary for throwing of stones in the sea … At you it for me it turns out ideally.
- For you I wish to be ideal in all.
When water has extinguished the sunlight rests, the ideal situation has developed for both of them. Water noise caressed hearing. The coast has become empty definitively. Only it and it. Sergey has touched it again, her back bend, has begun to smell hair, all has returned. Its embraces were strong … It was afraid, that the Sleepyhead again can disappear.
- At this moment, my heart fights only for you one. - on eyes tears were screwed and it did not frighten it, only with it he could be oneself. - I was afraid, that it is more when you I will not see.
- You have found me for the first time then, one year ago and I was confident, that will find and in this, after all knowingly I waited for you here, on the same place.
More they did not speak words, Sergey has embraced the girl with a gentle sight and the long-awaited kiss has washed off all that pain, that they carried in the hearts. The echo carried laughter, mountains stored their secret, the sea has absorbed their tenderness.

Давным for a long time when the little boy lived in cosy resort small town, in the neighbourhood with it there lived the girl, she was called the Sleepyhead. The boy and the girl were unseparable, neighbour's boys teased their groom and the bride, but they did not take offence, as really thought, that always will be together.
Since then has passed three years, the whole life with which they have filled with the dreams. The girl, born exactly in a year has inherited a sight of mother, and looking on it, Sergey often thought of how sometime his daughter will rescue, similar to the father, romanticism.
- So all also will be. - he often repeated to itself(himself). - And sometimes, it the thought that would be with it if not that happy meeting at coast of a small resort frightened. It could survive without the Sleepyhead, there could be it so is happy, as was happy every instant with it where every day it was embodied during a small life of the most usual affairs.
- Since the birth we went each other on a meeting. - words of the Sleepyhead always sounded seriously and convincingly when it mentioned this theme. - you remember, in the childhood,
We escaped on seacoast and could sit there at the whole nights on flight.
- I have learnt you when you have appeared for the first time in our adult life not at once.
- But you were learnt at once by my mother, and I have understood, that we with you a new meeting is not casual. If I am necessary to you, you will find me everywhere where I would not be.
- And so you thought even then when has not come on station.
- Then my mother has died, to me had no time for love, but the love has returned me a year later back, there, where I have found you again.
- There, where your gentle sight has again rescued my life.
And here.
The car of the person, in a stylish, expensive suit, has passed by small small restaurant, and the barman has not paid attention to people sitting in it. Having smiled, it has poured a wine glass to the next visitor and was ready to listen, new revelations. And the person in the car, together with the family has disappeared in twilight of cold evening where the main meaning of the life for it there were, two gentle sights that warmed soul and gave the future.

 

18.12.05